A Battle of Thoughts

       Kriya sat in the corner of the room again, hugging her legs tight for she was afraid that if she let go of them, they might take her somewhere she didn't wish to go. She felt like she was at The Edge of the World. One step forward and she would fall forever into the unknown.

       Her thoughts had been scaring her a lot today. There was a voice inside her that was teasing her, calling her a coward for not being able to do it earlier. She had sat at this very place a few hours ago, knife in her hand, wanting to slice through her wrists for she didn't know any other way out of the mess she had gotten herself into. She wasn't scared of the sin she was about to commit nor did she care about the after effects of it. It really won't be any of her business, right? She would be free from all this. The voice was encouraging her, luring her to do it, for it was tired of the emotional pain that she had put it through. The only way to let it all would be to cause physical pain. She vaguely smiled at the logic. She took the knife closer to her wrist and touched the tip to her wrist, applying a little pressure. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt! Instead it felt good; it felt like that was the exact moment she was waiting for so long. 

      She felt the voice inside her begging to finish it soon. And just when she was about to slice her wrist mercilessly, she heard his voice saying he loved her. “Lies” she cried through gritted teeth as his voice refused to stop ringing in her ears. He had claimed eternal love but when the time had come to prove it, he had escaped! He had left her to pursue his dreams. “I do love you Kriya, but I have to go. I might never get an opportunity like this” he had said before flying to The States! Did he consider her so selfish to become an obstacle in his path? Where did all the love go? 

       ‘Everyone is self-centered; it’s just the radius that differs’ said a small voice at the back of her mind. Wasn't she being selfish too, trying to end her life for someone who didn't care enough about her, when she should have been thinking about the others in her life who loved her? She sat there for a long time, her thoughts fighting a battle of their own. She could either take a step forward and end it all or go back to living her life, which was a mess at that time. 'But you could always work it out' said the sane voice again. It was a hard battle but gradually, her grip on the knife loosened as the selfish part was defeated. She stood up slowly dusting herself and wiping her tears, determined to make a fresh start.

PS: Last month, on my Blog's first anniversary, I had written a guest post about Self confidence on my friend Gayu Di's blog - Outside the Kitchen Window. She is a friend I got on Facebook and her writing inspired me to start this blog. So, while you are here, do give it a read. You can read my guest post here. 

PSS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Blogger by BlogAdda and Wordy Wednesday #9 by Blog-A-Rhythm.

 

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

First Crush

       Valentine week is being celebrated with lots of enthusiasm all over the world and the Blogosphere isn't indifferent to these celebrations either. Posts about love are flowing abundantly in the Blogosphere this month and many competitions are also announced which are base on the theme 'Love'. After reading so much about love, I thought 'Why not? Let me make a little contribution too' and thus here comes the story of my first love or rather first crush.

       With 'Love' being the favorite theme of most of the authors and also the directors, our generation has been blessed with the knowledge of 'Love' even before they can actually feel it. The movies play a great role in this! They make Love seem all rosy by saying the moon appears bigger or music starts playing in the background when you see your love, etc., etc... And just like everyone, I fell for it too. I began weaving my own fantasies about love. And when I first experienced it, well, it was different! Not bad, but different.

       It wasn't love at first sight as its supposed to happen. Definitely not! When I first saw him, I was with my cousins. They were all enthralled by him and his cuteness. But I was untouched by his charm. I even had sneered saying what a bad taste they all had! They had looked at me like I was crazy and I had pretended like I hadn't noticed the look. This repeated a few times but I couldn't stay immune to his charms for long and before I knew it, slowly and gradually I fell for him too. And when I did, he was all I could think of!

       My day began thinking about him and he was all I thought of throughout the day. I would conjure up different scenarios in my mind about how I would introduce myself to him and how I would express my love for him. As if the long hours of the day weren't enough, my nights were spent dreaming about him too! I was completely smitten by his looks. I started noticing little things about him. I noticed how his eyes twinkled when he smiled; how his whole face lit up when he laughed. I loved his innocent face and how his disheveled hair fell on his forehead. I loved those spectacles of his which failed to hide the depth of emotions in his eyes. I loved how he cared for those around him. He had a heart of gold! I just loved everything about him.

       Now that I think of it, I wonder why I didn't like him at first! Maybe it was meant to happen slowly, like all good things. Though I was head over heels for him, I couldn't tell him that. How could I? He probably had million other girls crushing on him! After all he is the famous Harry Potter! But whatever it is, he made me smile like silly whenever I watched the movie and it was his love that introduced me to the world of novels. He made my childhood better. So I don't regret it at all. Oh, I still love Harry, period! Nothing can ever change that. After all, one cannot forget his/her First Love!

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,
Swathi :)

A Foe Turned Friend!

       "I will be there in 10. Be ready, unless you want me to drag you there in whatever avatar you are right now" I smiled and hit send. I knew 10 minutes were no where enough for my darling Aliya to get ready; unlike me, she needed hours! No sooner had I kept my cell down, I received the reply "I hate you". That made my smile go wider. "My pleasure sweetheart. Now go before I change my mind and come right away" I had tried persuasion but when that had failed, I resorted to threatening which was working fine so far. Five years ago, I had never imagined that we would be best friends, let alone people who acknowledge each other! But things seldom go as we plan. As I sat waiting for her, my mind started taking a trip down the memory lane.

        It was the first day of college. I was a bundle of excitement and nervousness. There was excitement arising from the fact that I was no longer a school girl. 'College student' - those two words were filling me with pride and excitement. At the same time, there was fear - fear of unknown. New place, new friends, new routine. I had no idea what to expect. All my friends were in a different section and I was left alone, thanks to the language I had selected. I desperately looked around for someone. I needed to make new friends. As I looked around the classroom, my eyes fell on the girl sitting in the far corner, in the last bench. 'Ostentatious' is the word that came to my mind when I saw her. She was laughing with her friends and when our eyes met, she gave me a bored glance and sneered before turning away! It was clear she didn't like me and oh! The feeling was mutual. I knew we weren't going to get along. I might as well avoid her than to start a cat fight.

       But destiny had different plans. A week later, labs started and to my chagrin, we were made lab partners. By the looks of it, she wasn't pleased either. I had come to know that her name was Aliya. We tried to convince our lecturer to let us switch partners but it was of no use. It seemed like we had no other option than to work together. "Just keep your distance from me" she growled in my direction. I flinched. Apparently, there are a few people who just can't get along, without any particular reason. Guess we fell into that list. "I have no intentions of befriending you, your Highness" I replied sarcastically and that was it. Thrice in a week, we had to work together for two hours and those were the longest hours. Much of it passed without any conversations, save for the occasional verbal insults we threw at each other.

       Months passed and finally it was the last lab of the year. I would no longer have to bear the torture of sitting next to my enemy. I gave myself a hi-5 mentally. I was determined to ignore her for the next two hours but a soft sob made me turn towards her. She looked like a mess; her eyes were red and swollen, as if she was crying for hours and her cheeks were tear stained. I realized I was staring when she looked up from her hands and glared at me or at least tried to. "Are you OK?" I asked her, unable to stop myself. She didn't reply. "Aliya?" I tried again. "Just leave me alone. Will you?" she hissed. I didn't know what was the reason for the state she was in and my attempt to talk were not welcome. So I tried to focus on the lecture. When the lab ended, my friends caught up with me and I got to know the reason behind Aliya's behavior. Apparently she had a nasty break up. Her boy friend had called her names in front of their whole group before dumping her and all her friends had sided up with him, leaving her all alone. Gossips always spread at lightening speed. For the first time, I felt pity for the poor girl.

        A lot of things changed in the next few days. When I saw Aliya sitting alone the next day, her shoulders slumped in defeat as our classmates made fun of her, I just couldn't let it be. I dragged her from her place to sit with us. Her protests were weak; she already looked defeated. For the next few days, we tried to cheer her. It was a difficult job considering she was not ready to let go of the past and looking at her old friends made her cry all over again. But slowly, she learned to ignore them. I was with her when she needed someone the most. I don't know why I did that; it still takes me by surprise that I helped a person whom I couldn't even bear sitting with! But it was destined to be. She started opening up to me and I found out she wasn't as bad as I had expected her to be. We weren't anything alike; we were like the poles of a magnet but still, I had found a true friend in her.

       Lenka's voice brought me back to the present. My cell phone was ringing and it was Aliya. I looked at my watch and swore. I was 30 minutes late. "Down to earth madam. Where the hell are you?" she shouted as soon as I picked her call. "Arey, I am stuck in traffic. Will be there soon" I lied as I ran out towards the garage. "I know you are getting out of your home now. Just get here before I change my mind" she muttered something under her breath before she hung up. She knew me so well! Who would have thought she, of all people, will turn out to be my best friend, who would stand by me through thick and thin? I definitely hadn't! But I am grateful, all the same.

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. Also linking this to Write Tribe Pro Blogger Challenge.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Dear Crush - 30 Letter Series #2

       I am participating in 'Letter a Week' challenge hosted by Nibha and this week's letter is for crush. Exciting!! So without much blabber, I will get straight to the letter.

Dear Crush,

       Is it possible to fall for someone you barely know? If yes, then I am falling for you with every passing second and if not, well there can be only one explanation - I am going crazy!! Well lets over rule the topic of my sanity and concentrate on most important topic - YOU!! Yes, you have started to occupy a very important place in my heart and life.

       Life was good and predictable and everything was going smoothly until you made an appearance. You brought with you a big Twist in my life! Now my life is no where predictable and I am a tangled mess of emotions! Yes, you brought chaos is my life but strangely I am loving this. Now that I think of it, my life seemed to be too boring before you showed up!

       I fell for you the very first time I laid my eyes on you. My friends started pulling my leg when they noticed me speaking about you all the time. I just laughed and shook off their comments but deep inside, I just wished it to be true. After that first sight, I started noticing you everyday and it kind of became my obsession.

       Whenever I think of you, a warmth spreads over me; butterflies start fluttering in my stomach and a chill runs through my veins. But when I see you talking to other girls, aarrghh!! I would rather not elaborate that feeling of jealousy! When I hear you sing and see you dance, my heart skips a beat and starts a double time. And when I see tears in those beautiful eyes, it feels like my heart is being crushed. You are the only one on my mind whole day and you star in my dreams at night!

       Do I sound like an idiot? Well if idiocy is this sweet feeling, then I am OK being an idiot. By the way, did I mention that my cell phone is filled with images of yours? I look at them all the time and I am so obsessed that once, I even made a portrait of yours. My mom and friends make fun of this one sided crush, but I am sure you will understand it. 

       Yes Mr. Lee Min Ho, I am irrevocably in love with you! You wait for just few more months and I will soon come to South Korea and meet you. Till then I will spend time watching your K-dramas and your songs.

With lots of Love,

Swatz :)

PS: For those who don't know, Lee Min Ho is a Korean actor and I am a huge fan of K-Dramas, especially the ones starring him. I have watched the whole serial more than 10 times, just for the love of Lee Min Ho!!

Linking this to 30 Letter Series - Week 2 and Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Until the Next Post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

       

A Funny Incident!

       A funny thing happened on my way to Vodafone office three days back. Well funny or not, it depends on whose perspective you are viewing the incident from! I had paid for net pack but even after three days, I didn't receive any data pack! Since semester results were to be announced soon, I was pissed off having no access to net. Having called customer care number of times and still not getting proper response, I decided to take the matter to next step. I went to the retailer who had recharged initially and he called the manager. He asked me to visit the nearest Vodafone office so that they can look into the matter and fix it!

       I was totally angry with the service they were giving. First they had made me wait for so long and now they were asking me to travel so far! I was tired of hearing their filthy reasons. So I stormed off angrily towards their office. Adding to my frustration, it rained! I usually love rains but when I reached the office, I was totally drenched and my boots were squeaking. It definitely was not a pretty sight and it only fueled my anger more. I located the office and started walking towards it.

      When I reached the place, I saw a guy on the other side who was about to come out. He would have just opened the door but since I wasn't thinking clearly, I grabbed for the handle before he could and started pulling it. He stopped and looked up from his cell and watched me struggle. Yes, I was struggling because no matter how much I pulled, the door wouldn't budge even a little! It was still raining and I was standing there, fighting with the door, swearing under my breath. It must have been quite a sight because the guy on the other side stood there watching with an amused expression on his face. I didn't know what it was that he found funny but for me, the situation was far from funny!

      After a minute, I gave up and threw my hands up in air. I saw him smirk and it was just fueling my anger. He was enjoying it more than he should! Once he saw me give up, he raised his hand and swiftly gave it a pull and the door glided effortlessly. Gosh! All the time, I had been pulling at the door that said push! The guy walked out and chuckled as he passed by me. That was so embarrassing! Blinded by anger, I had walked straight into a trap. I should have made quite a scene because I noticed two other girls shake their head looking at me! Just then my cell beeped. It was a message from Vodafone saying 'recharge successful'! If it had happened half an hour ago, I could have saved myself all the embarrassment! Sigh!

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda, the Ultimate Blog Challenge July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Mind Reading!

       As they sat there having coffee, she wished for the hundredth time that she could get a glimpse of his mind. There were about to get divorced in mere week and he appeared so calm on the outside! She was burning inside with everything going on. Was he really that indifferent to her feelings? Sigh! If only she could read his mind!

      "I wish she understands" I heard him saying and looked up to see what he meant. He was looking straight ahead, staring into the distance, not looking at anything in particular. He appeared to be lost in thoughts. "Did you say something?" she asked, which broke his revere. He suddenly seemed to notice his surroundings and then looked at her. "She is still so beautiful; just like when I saw her first" he sighs and says "No, I didn't say anything" With a shock, she realized that her wish had been granted. She didn't quite know what to make out of it. She tried to focus on him. His thoughts were a jumble of the events, of all the time they had spent together. She was finally understanding the depth of his feelings for her. But yet she was unsure of the decision.

       "So you think we are doing right by getting divorced?" she asked. She wanted to be sure. "Yah, sure" he replied without even making an eye contact. But she heard it all clearly; his thoughts. He so wished he hadn't lied to her that day, which was the root cause for all the misunderstanding. He wished he hadn't signed the papers at once and tried to set things right. He wished he could still ask her to stay; beg her even if that what it takes! But he knew she would just refuse it. After all, he had broken her heart and stomped over its pieces. He wished he could just tell her how much he loved her and how his world will be incomplete without her! But with every thought and pain hidden in his heart, he gives her a weak smile.

       She sat there dumbfounded realizing the intensity of his love for her. He was scared to make the move, afraid to hurt her and also afraid of the rejection. But couldn't she confess it? After all, she loved him too; with all her heart. True, she had been angry that he had lied to her. But doesn't all relationships go through this? All that mattered in the end was their love for each other, which would  help them survive all the odds. She slowly woke up and got on her knees, the way he had done when he proposed her first. She saw the shock on his face and could hear his thoughts turn into confusion but she didn't stop. She knew she had to do this. "I am sorry I made a mess out of all this! Will you forgive me and be with me forever? Just like we had promised earlier?"

       He was completely bewildered to answer her question. A million thoughts ran through his mind. "Was he dreaming? Was she really doing this? Did she love him enough to forgive him?" The list of questions was long. But there was something else; happiness. Happiness at the possibility of a new life with the girl he loved so much. He tried to speak; he knew she was waiting. But words failed him. Just tears ran through his eyes and he sat there crying like a child. But she had read his thoughts and was fully aware of how he was feeling. In an instant, she was there by his side, cupping his face in her hands and whispering to him that everything was okay. Their lips met slowly and she savored the moment, all the while listening to his thoughts which mirrored her own; happiness. She thanked the unknown source, which had given her this power and saved their dying relationship!

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda, the Ultimate Blog Challenge July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)
   

Last Conversation!

       I was reading a novel leisurely, sitting by the beach, revealing in the silence. The ambience was perfect and just when I thought the moment couldn't get any better, I heard a loud music. “How could you be so heartless” Eminem sang as my cell phone started buzzing. Cursing the person who called at such a beautiful time and cursing myself even more for not keeping the cell in silent, I picked up the phone. “Hello” said a melodious voice and suddenly my world stopped!

       I recognized the voice instantly though it had been ages since we last spoke. Once upon a time, we were best of friends but due to some mishaps, we had parted ways, on rather an unpleasant manner! Though he had tried to get in touch with me frequently through mails, I wasn't ready to budge. All his efforts were put to an end when I had blocked him finally! And now out of blue, he had called me and with his calls came the memories that I had suppressed in the deepest, darkest corner of my mind.

       “Hello Swathi?” he asked again, his voice unsure. “Yes it is. May I know who I am speaking to?” I feign ignorance. I swear I could feel him smiling at the other end. “Come on Swathi! Now don’t play innocent. I very well know that you recognize who I am” he said. He knew me so well! He was my best friend and my partner in crime! After my dear Diary, it was he, who held all my secrets. Even today, there was no point in fooling him. “Fine! I know who you are. What do you want?” I ask him, irritated by the fact that he understood me so well even today, after all this time!

       “I just called up for a friendly chat. I missed you” he said and it was evident that he was hurt. But why should I forgive him now after so much had happened? “I am not sure if I want to talk with you boy!” I said. “Would you say the same even if you learned that this probably could be the last time we can chat?” he asks and I suddenly feel uneasy. “What do you mean?” I ask, very well aware as to what his reply would be! “You guessed it right dear. I don’t have many days left” he says and though he tries to seem nonchalant, I see right through the facade. I had heard from our mutual friends that he was unwell these days, but I never knew the matter was this serious!

       “Hey! I haven't called up to invite you to any pity party. I just wanted to review our good days once, before I close my eyes forever” he said and I couldn't help but set the memories free from the nutshell, where they were struggling, demanding for freedom! And once I do that, they flow freely, making me nostalgic. It was the early years of my teen when I had first met him and oh, I was so happy! Every waking hour of mine was spent with him, chatting away, sharing secrets. You would think I was in love with him and I would say you aren't far off the mark. Yes I loved him, but not in the way you think. He was my best friend and the mediator of my love story. I was in love with his friend and he was the one who was helping me in this little love story of mine.

       My love story began as usual, with hi’s and hello’s which soon turned into how are you’s. All these messages were initially exchanged through him; he was our mediator after all. But as days passed, we fell for each other, exchanged numbers and our chats became more personal. Even then, when we had to exchange cards, we still relied on him as our mediator. And he was faithful as always. But what neither of us knew was the reality of his friend. It was after a long time, that I learnt the truth. He was a player and he was playing with my friend too! He had double crossed both of us! I was hurt, broken, and angry; all at the same time! I had cut all means of contact with that guy and in that moment of hurt, I had stopped talking with my friend too!

       “You should have told me before. Then nothing of this sort would have happened!” was what I repeated every time he tried to sort out things. I didn't listen to him. I kept receiving mails initially, pleading to come back in his life but I was too hurt to consider that! And then I blocked him forever! I know it was not his fault but at that time, blocking him had given me some sort of peace, some sense of content!

       “I am sorry” I say as I come back to present. “I know I shouldn't have blamed you for all those things. You were always good to me. It was me who should have been careful” I wipe off the tear that was now obscuring my vision. “It’s OK Swathi. Just know that I didn't mean bad to you and always loved having you around” he says and a meek “I know” escapes my mouth. “Just be careful from now on OK? There are so many people like him out there, tying to fool unsuspecting people. Just make sure you don’t fall in their trap ever again” he says. I know he was speaking the truth; I had experienced it. “I will” I say as he waits for my response. “That’s like my good girl” he says and I manage a weak smile through the tears.

       We chatted for a long time, reminiscing our beautiful time together. Those smiles, those secrets and the fun we had! Together we had made so many friends and had some wierdest conversations too! Remembering those, we laugh till our stomach hurt. But as time passed, I could hear his breathing become heavy. “I guess I have to go now” he says just as I expected. “OK Take care dear. I miss you” I tell him as I get emotional again. “Now! Now! Stop crying! You know I hate tears! Take good care of yourself and don’t forget me ever! I will miss you too” he said and before I could reply, the line goes blank!

      How could I forget someone who had given me so much to remember! Despite his plea, few tears escaped my eyes. I wanted to tell him so much but no words came out. “Bye Orkut” I finally managed to say, wishing his soul would rest in peace.

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda, the Ultimate Blog Challenge July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Untold Story of a Fighter!

        I was nervous. It was the first time I would be addressing such a huge gathering. "It will be fine, don't worry" said my mom, who appeared even more tensed than I was. I knew she was re-assuring herself more than me! "Yes mom, it will be fine" I said faking a confidence that I didn't feel within. "I will rock it" I smile and she tries too. "Ma'am everything is ready. They are all waiting for you" says the event organizer and I nod as I take in a deep breath. "This is it" I say myself. This was the day I was waiting for all my life and now finally my dream was coming true. It was the day my first novel would be launched and as a part of this event, I was supposed to read an excerpt of it to the audience. There will be so many people, reporters, cameras! The thought scared me. But the voice in me whispered that if I had come this far, then I can definitely handle this. And that's how, 15 minutes later, I ended up reading the prologue of the novel, which was based on my life story.

       She knew it was the end. She had tried her best but all her efforts were going vain! How long can anyone hold on? Her career, her respect, her love life, everything was at stake. She remembered good old days. Life was so good. Friends, family, love and success, everything seemed to be within reach; just name it and she had it. Caring parents, loving brother, best of the friends and a boy who would do anything for her. Then why was she standing at this place now, alone and away from everything and everyone she loved?

     She knew the answer even before the question ended. It all happened because of a stupid mistake. Because of her stupid desire to take on the world on her own. She had over looked everyone and everything! She had chosen her own path and decided to walk alone. And in the quest, she had lost things that were dear to her. But hadn't she done everything she could to make it right? How much more she had to try? How many times should I try! she thought frustrated.

       'Just once more' came the voice from inside. It was this very voice that had ushered her to walk on this path, that had made her believe in her dreams and chase them. Now it was asking her to go on once again? Would it be worth listening to it? she thought. 'Yes' came the answer. 'I have lost everything already, what more can I lose? I would try just once more, every single time, until I finally succeed' she thought. She stood up and wiped her tears. She smiled tentatively which slowly became genuine and walked out with an air of confidence. This time, she had to do it and show the world what she as capable of!

       I looked up from the book to my audience who were now enthralled by the introduction. I smiled at them. "That was the snippet of a story from my life. A journey of a girl who faced choices that changed her life forever. She could have given up and broken down like many of us do but she chose to fight. And you see the result today. Read more about it in my book" I say and hear the thunderous applause which makes me feel that all the effort I had put in, was worth it! I thank my lucky stars, though I believed more in hard work than in luck! After all hard work was what made me stand here today.

PS: This is a fiction post written in response for BlogAdda's prompt "Your life is going to be made into a novel! Write an introduction for this novel. How will you creatively reflect on your life spent?"

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda, the Ultimate Blog Challenge July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)
   

Stuck in the Elevator!

       I ran into the elevator trying to hide my tears. As usual the anger had brought tears in my eyes. I don't know why, but due to some twisted logic, my anger was hard wired to my tear ducts. It was embarrassing to end up crying like this humiliating myself in front of others. So I rushed to the elevator leaving the scene, escaping from the problem as usual. After all what was my fault? All I had asked for was support from my family to fulfill my dreams but they had started dismissing the idea itself by saying its impossible. They weren't ready to see my point of view. I had lost my temper and had started screaming and had ended up getting labelled as disrespectful. I couldn't bear it anymore. I had enough of all this.

       I got inside the elevator, closing the door but then someone hurriedly opens it and gets inside. I was too busy hosting pity party for myself to notice him. I just sprinted to the corner of the lift so that whoever it was that came inside, wouldn't see me in this state. I wished he would get off soon. But suddenly the elevator jerks to a stop. A break down! "Nothing is going right today" I say and break down myself, tears flowing freely now that I had one more reason. "Hey are you OK?" asked the person who was stuck with me. "Yeah. I just thought to break down too to give company to the elevator" I snap but instantly regret it. It was my problem. Why was I taking my frustration on him! "I am sorry. Just leave me alone" I say pitying him for being with the wrong person at the wrong time. I felt his stare and lifted my head and I was in for a shock! He was none other than my idol Sandeep Maheshwari!

       How many times had I dreamt of meeting this guy but never had I thought of greeting him in such a state. I quickly wipe my tears forgetting my problem momentarily. "I have seen your videos and I am a huge fan of yours" I blurt out, my voice still husky after crying. He continued watching me intently and slowly said "I don't think so" I was confused why he was saying so. I open my mouth to explain myself but he continued. "Can I ask why were you crying?" I tell him the story briefly. He listens without interrupting and when I am done, he speaks again. And what he said, definitely changed my perspective towards life.

       "There are two barriers which stop you from achieving anything in life. One is people around you and the other one is yourself. Whenever you want to achieve something in life, there will always be people who tell you that you can't do it. I just say, ask them why you can't? 90% of them will not have a valid answer. Never pay heed to their comments. If you learn to do that, you have already achieved your goals half. Even I was told by many that I can't do it when I shared my ideas but I never heard them. And look at me today; I have achieved my dream. That is what you should do now. And when you learn not to let others stop you, don't let your doubts to stop you" he said, totally making me forget all my problems and filling me with a renewed inspiration.

       Just then the lift started moving and we arrive at ground floor. He wished me luck and told me to keep the child in me alive which would guide me in the right direction always. I thank him whole heartedly as he leaves. I walk out with new confidence coursing through my veins, which told me I can even touch skies, if I believed in myself. Those 10 minutes in the elevator had definitely changed my life.

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

(This post is a fiction. But I do wish I could meet Sandeep Maheshwari once. His videos have inspired me a lot and this is my favorite one)

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Last Day of Life!!

       It is 6 in the morning and I am still wide awake. I hadn't got even an ounce of sleep whole night. The whole excitement and the joy of carnival had worn off. The psychic reading was a bad choice; I shouldn't have went for it. I had always avoided such things; I thought they were silly but in the spur of moment and amidst friends' force, I had got my reading and it had left me shell shocked. "Tomorrow will be the last day of your life" the psychic woman had told. I had kept it to myself, not telling my friends who were waiting outside. I had tried to brush it off as unimportant, the line kept echoing in my mind and I had lost my whole night's sleep, dreading the coming day.

       I got up and decided to face it. The prediction might have been wrong, maybe it was a mistake, but if it was right, then I didn't want to spend my last day crying; I wanted to live it to the fullest. I thought of all the dreams I had.

Travelling places near and far,

Maybe signing some autographs!

Grow high and touch the sky,

And live life King size!

See my parents beam with pride,

As I become famous worldwide.

Search the planet far and wide,

And find the love of my life!

       A tear escaped my eye as I thought of these dreams and many more. But there was no time to fulfill any of these. 'I should be calm' I thought wiping away my tears. There should be something, anything that would look good in the present scenario. Well I didn't have to read for the pending exams; That should be a good thing right? I sighed. Jokes apart, I should be concentrating on important things. After all time isn't a luxury I can afford now. 'There should be something that I could do to make my last day worth while' I thought.

Spend time with the people I love,

I know for them tomorrow would be tough.

Smile and spread some happiness,

They shouldn't notice the emptiness.

I should do some good deed,

Maybe help somebody in need.

That way I will be remembered after death,

As somebody who was kind till last breath.

       I was brought out of my reverie when my best friend called.  "Hey can we hang out? I am bored to death" she says. I almost laugh at the irony. She was talking so casually about death which I was dreading. But then I thought how this could be my last chance and agreed to meet her up in the evening. I spent the rest of the day with my family. I wrote a few letters, penning down my feelings and love for them which I couldn't say out loud and kept them in my drawer where I knew my brother would find it.

       Later in the evening I leave for my friend's home. When I reach there, she appeared to be in good mood. We chatted for some time and I felt like it was just another normal day. I suddenly felt like I couldn't hold on to the secret anymore and decided to tell her about the reading. When I finished telling everything and told her how much I love her, she burst out laughing. I didn't understand her reaction. Wasn't she sad hearing the news or did she think I was kidding? "Riya its the truth" I said, a tear escaping my eye. But that only made her laugh more and slowly one by one all my friends started coming out from where they were hiding. "What is going on?" I ask confused. "Look at you!" said on of my friend still laughing. "I thought you didn't believe in those readings but figures you do!" he said. "Well..." I start but trail off not knowing what to say. 

       "Enough guys. Else she will die out of heart attack now" said Riya and she turned towards me. "Look we are really sorry but this whole psychic reading was Avi's prank. The woman agreed to give a false reading after he coaxed her but we had no idea you would take it so seriously. Now don't get angry please" she said looking at me like she was anticipating a burst out. I looked at them for few moments without speaking and after what seemed like eternity, I burst out laughing. "Oh Riya! I am so glad it was a prank and not reality" I said hugging her tight. And as for the anger, well thinking it was my last day had made me realize how short and unpredictable life could be. So I chose to laugh about it and enjoy life when I still had a chance. After all, every moment was precious!

image source: Google images

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Soul Switch - WOW #14

       "Can't you do such a small thing for me? I am tired" said my dad when I declined to go drop my grandmother to bus stand. "You go dad, you are free. I have loads to read" I said, as usual making studies as my excuse. He was angry. He left without speaking a word. I didn't care. I was tired of reading whole day and didn't wish to go anywhere. He could relax when he came home but it wasn't the same for me. I had assignments to complete and exams to read for! How can he expect me to do more? I slept thinking how life is unfair.

       Next morning when I woke up, I was feeling uncomfortable. My whole body was hurting and I couldn't stretch as the place seemed congested. I sat up groggily and noticed I was sleeping on the sofa. Strange! I didn't remember coming here! I walk towards the wash basin still sleepy and take my brush. As I start brushing I look into the mirror and see dad. "Good morning Dad" I said and my reflection mimicked me. I was confused! I turned around and saw that dad wasn't anywhere near and when I look back into the mirror, the bewildered eyes of dad were staring back at me. "NO!!!" I let out a shriek as realization dawned upon me! I ran to my room and see myself sleeping peacefully. "Dad! Wake up!" I shook my body feeling like an idiot with the addressing! I saw slowly as he woke up wondering why I was disturbing him at such an early hour. His face (or rather mine) described a wide range of emotions from irritation to confusion to shock to disbelief. "What the" he started looking at me and then his reflection in the mirror. "Soul exchange" I completed.

       Once the initial shock wore off, his eyes twinkled with mischief as he said "Lets get on with this. I am fed up with that office anyways. You live my life today while I live yours. I am sure it will be fun" he said as he tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't believe what he just said! Well if he wanted it to be so, then I would do it. "Fine dad. Lets do it. Lets start with your first task. The book is on the desk. You better start reading as you have to attend internals today. Now you don't want your darling daughter to score less, do you?" I smiled and left the room satisfied with the chagrin I saw on his face. It's 1-0 I thought with a mental hi-5. I went back to bed thinking I would just skip his office taking sick leave. But luck wasn't with me. Dad said I had to go as his colleague was on leave and he had to complete the accounts today! I grudgingly woke up and got ready changing the score board to 1-1. "It shouldn't be difficult" I thought. Just a matter of 9 hours and I can rest for the whole day, I consoled myself as I left for his office.

       Office was hell as I didn't know what to do. So many customers were flowing in asking for details which I didn't know. Manager called me in and gave me the task of completing the accounts. He said he wanted it to be done soon. I had to send a few mails which were the only tasks I completed successfully. The account book looked like a monster that would swallow me up. So many figures and so many calculations! The sun outside was burning and the office didn't have an AC either as dad worked in a village that is at 2 hour journey from our home. And my body was hurting like hell from the travel along that poor road! I cursed dad for sleeping on the sofa and made a mental note to ask him the reason later. 

      By the end of the day, I was totally exhausted. The accounts were still pending. I had taken a few trips to the manager's cabin and one time he even scolded me for a mistake that wasn't mine! I wanted to talk back but realized that would put dad in a difficult position. I swallowed my pride and stood there listening to him without speaking a word. When you work under someone, you have no choice than to listen to them, I learnt. I returned home by 7 pm tired from standing in the bus throughout the journey as the bus was filled with people returning to their home for weekend! "2-1 dad! I lost" I thought as I entered home. I expected to see dad's victorious face seeing my condition but the situation was different.

      Dad looked as tired as me. He told waking up early and reading wasn't a good idea as he had lost that habit. Internals had took the best out of him and the lectures that followed weren't great either. He even was caught yawning and the lecturer had given him an assignment as punishment. "How could he do that! It was just a yawn" he said still not believing the absurdity of it all. It seemed that he was writing the same and now was tired of it. He wanted some rest as his head hurt from staring at the laptop whole evening. "2-2" I thought as I smiled lightly. "But dad, why were you sleeping on the sofa yesterday?" I asked. "Well it was late when I returned from bus stand. I didn't want to disturb anyone" he said and I felt my eyes turn moist. I didn't speak a word and went inside to rest, wishing this would end.

       I dreaded opening my eyes next morning! I didn't want to go through my dad's routine again! I was stalling time when dad came and woke me up. I looked at him. He was... well he was himself which meant I was back in my body! The soul switch had been reversed and I was so ecstatic. I apologized to my dad for being rude a day back when he had given me some work. He waved it aside saying he understood it wasn't easy being me either. Whatever the reason was, the switch had helped us understand each other better and I respected him even more, now that I had lived his life. "Well the assignment is still incomplete" he said sheepishly. "Oh that's nothing your daughter can't handle" I replied with a wink, glad to be back to my own self!

image source: google images

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

Stationery Chats - WOW #13

       The whole town sleeps peacefully under the moon light. The tiredness of the day making them sleep like a log. Some are dreaming and some are snoring, unaware of the outside world. Mean while some where in the corner house of street three, under the dim light of a zero candle bulb, a muffled cry is heard.

       Seeing the new pen cry, all other stationery items get worried and they start enquiring the reason. "She bit me today" said the pen in between uncontrollable sobs. The pencil is empathetic, having gone through the same pain. "I know how you must be feeling. I totally hate her" says the pencil, wincing as it recalls the torment it had been through. "But wasn't she scolded by her mom last week for the same?" asks the pen stand, all worried. "Oh she has been scolded for that a million times but that kid is stubborn. She doesn't listen to anyone. Moreover she says, she gets ideas while biting the pen. What an excuse!" says the stapler, enlightening the new comers about the norms.

       "She is a monster" says the pen, horrified hearing the news! There is a loud cough and every body turns in that direction. "Oh poor sharpner" wails the scale seeing it covered with dust. "Ever since she has bought that new lead pencil, she hardly looks at you" The sharpner smiles faintly. "I wish she would at least keep the desk clean. Look at the amount of dust here! Such a dirty place" says the pen cringing. "Have you seen her brother's desk? There is not even a speck of dust there. Life was so good until she brought me here" sobs the stapler, remembering the good old days.

image source: eisforidiot.wordpress.com

       The pen wriggles trying to breathe. There was no space to even stand freely in the pen stand. It was filled with lots of unused items. Empty pens, old pencils, sketch pens, markers. "She doesn't have the right to treat us this bad. We have to stand up against her! Else she will continue this way forever" says the pen who could no longer contain the frustration. "Look at her sleeping peacefully, leaving us like this! It's time for pay back. Lets attack her" says the pen, the nib shining under the faint light coming from the bulb, as if mirroring its zeal. "How do you plan on doing it?" asks the eraser. "Oh that's easy. The compass can give me a ride. And the scale and erasers can form a see-saw with the help of which we can go there and pierce her. Let her taste pain and she will understand our position" answers the pen with a wicked edge in its voice.

       "Quiet kid" a loud voice says and every one turns towards the source. The diary that lays in the corner which was a silent observer till now speaks. "Just because you had a rough day, doesn't mean you have to get all worked up like this. Poor girl, she is having a hard time with exams nearing and so little time left to read. She even had a fight with her friend today because of which she is upset. You don't have the slightest idea of what she going through. So just keep quiet and learn to endure" it says, a ring of authority evident in its voice. "Yeah. She is not that bad. I am sure life will turn to normal once her exams are over. And you will find out what a coolest person she is" chirps the paint brush remembering the fun it had painting. All the stationery items feel ashamed for having forgot all those happy moments and joining in with the pen in its insane mission. They thank the diary for reminding them the truth. 

       Meanwhile the alarm rings and I wake up. Oh God! What a dream it was! I go to the desk, to pick up my book and find all the items exactly like I had seen them in the dream. Was it really a dream? Gosh!! Do they really hate me? I hug my diary tightly, thanking it for being on my side and make a mental note to clean the desk that evening.

PS: This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)