From childhood till now, I have always wanted to be an all rounder and in some ways, I am one. I love to sing, paint, dance, write, read novels; the list goes on. If asked to pick any one favorite hobby among these, I won't be able to. While my mom supports me in all these, there is one thing she never lets me compromise on - studies. She doesn't want me to lag behind in studies while concentrating on others. And that's exactly what I did once!
During my second year PUC, I started taking studies lightly and having fun became top priority for me. I used to hang out with friends, go to movies, chat all the time and laze around. That naturally had an effect on my grades but as the test papers were never sent home, I was safe. When mom used to ask how the tests went, I used to say 'Good' and that was it. Though I felt guilty lying, I was sure I would make up for it by scoring well next time. But the next time never came. Finally it was the preparatory exam and I had messed up that one too. But this time the stakes were high.
The college I studied in, had a rule. They used to send our marks to our parent's mobile. Mine was sent to my mom's cell and thankfully I had it when the message was sent. I had performed well in all subjects except Physics in which I had passed but with very less marks. I knew mom would be furious if she saw that. So I quickly deleted the message and pretended like nothing happened; or at least I tried to. But I failed.
I have never lied to mom and so carrying the burden of this was very difficult. I tried to ease my guilt by saying 'It's not lying. It's just hiding the truth' but either ways, I was miserable. Next day when my friend's mom had come home, all I could think was 'What if she asks about marks in front of mom? Or worse, what if mom asks about how her daughter was doing and her mom ends up saying about the message!' Thankfully, that never happened. My friend's mom was in a hurry and she left soon. But I realized one thing - I cannot hide the truth anymore!
So gathering all my courage, I went where mom was sitting reading a magazine and confessed everything. I told her how I was scared that she would scold me and how that drove me to hide the truth. I also told how miserable I felt hiding the truth. When I was done, I suddenly felt better. The guilt that was nagging inside me was gone and I could breathe much easier. Mom, who had been silent throughout, was watching my face and I guess she understood how I felt. 'I hope you have learnt your lesson' was all she said at that time. I definitely had!
She helped with my studies from then, till I could get back on track. She even spoke to my lecturer who made sure I paid attention. In the end, I passed the final exam with flying colors, which would have been impossible without her help. Of course, I had to listen to some lecture from mom but it was easier to listen to her admonishing me than to carry the guilt of lying to her.
Yesterday, I saw this video on TV which reminded me of this above mentioned incident
As shown in the video, it is definitely good to tell the truth and shred that guilt. It is totally worth it. I have experienced it. Have you?
PS: This post is written for Indiblogger Happy Hours and Kinley Water.
Until the next post,
Keep Smiling :)
Love,
Swathi :)
Yes hiding truths can be harmful for conscience if none other :(
ReplyDeleteI used to hide truth and lie..But now I have started forgetting the lies I have told...so I have decided to say the truth and save myself from the embarrassment later. :P
ReplyDeleteYou are cute!
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