Friday, 6 June 2014

Loneliness!

        I sit on my bed watching photographs of me and Sameer. I had been doing it from the past few days, re-living every moment captured in those pictures once more - a photograph taken in the park where he was swinging me, our birthday parties, a snap from my cousin’s marriage where I was looking somewhere and he was sneaking a peek at me when my friend had clicked the picture, the walk on the beach where he had proposed to me… That brought a fresh wave of tears. I knew without as much as a glance in the mirror that I looked horrible, eyes swollen and kohl stained cheeks from non-stop crying.

       It was 2 am and I longed to drift into sleep’s oblivion where I could escape from all this pain but sleep wasn't an option. It had been days since I last slept peacefully. My days were filled with a constant internal turmoil. I was on the verge of breaking down but I still smiled on the surface, acting like I was fine in front of others; and no one noticed! I wonder if I was that good of an actress or people just didn't give a damn to observe closely and to figure out how lonely I was. I would break down as soon as I reached the familiarity of my room, the pent up emotions flowing out at once, all pretense vanishing in thin air.

       I look at my cell hoping to see messages from Sameer saying he missed me and scolding me for being so irresponsible. I almost smiled imagining how he would scold me if he saw the state I was in. I was sure he would frown more if I laughed when he was scolding. Ah, I was so desperate to hear his voice once. But I knew I couldn’t. I close my eyes wishing to escape from this all but the images from that night started to flash before my eyes.

       Images of him smiling as he said a bye to me as we returned from the beach. I was beaming with happiness after the proposal. I was smiling as I saw Sameer's name flash on my cell. I had received it thinking how it was just minutes before he had left and he already was calling me; only to be greeted with a news that shook the ground beneath my feet. "Madam the person has died due to an accident. The car driver was drunk and it was a hit and run case. We are calling you as your number was last dialled from this cell. Do you know this person?" I hadn't been able to respond to his questions; I was numb from shock! I couldn't believe how the day had turned out. My Sameer had paid an irrevocable price for someone else's fault; and I still was paying for the same! Memories from that fateful night haunted me as loneliness gripped me hard, enveloping me inside the black void. I cried for my loss, for the twisted joke destiny was playing on me. These days Music is my refuge. I can crawl into the space between the notes and curl back to my loneliness. The only escape I have found from this misery. I knew this memory would haunt me for a life time but for now, I tried to find solace in the music for I knew Sameer hated it when I cried.

PS: This story is fiction and is written in response to Write Tribe's Wednesday Prompt 2014 #18.


Until the next post,
Keep Smiling :)

Love,
Swathi :)

44 comments:

  1. A post full of such a strong emotions and equally strong message! I could feel pain piercing right into my heart!

    ReplyDelete
  2. this is so touching. You expressed the feeling of loss and loneliness so well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So very moving. Well done! Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was happy to read the last part where you mentioned it was Fiction! It felt so real. The emotions and the Flow! Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Music soothes the soul. Sometimes I hate looking at pictures from the past. They remind me how much I miss my Mom and Dad. Right after they first died I treasured their pictures and felt as if they kept them near me. I could look at them when i needed too..but now they just make me feel sad. ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh kathy!! Its true that pictures can make us happy and sad depending on the situation! **Sending hugs and strength your way**

      Delete
  6. Gosh! Hate such reckless driving on the roads! A very moving story, very well narrated, Swathi!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Such a terribly sad story! What pain she must be going through - can't even imagine.
    You expressed well her helplessness and her inner struggle to keep up appearances.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sad story Swathi.
    But, reality... Nicely narrated.

    ReplyDelete
  9. emotional ,you weaved the quote beautifully in the flow of the narrative

    Insult

    ReplyDelete
  10. That was a twist I did not anticipate, Swathi. You are getting better at reeling in your readers :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. That was so sad. You brought out the sadness, despair and loneliness very well. And music does soothe the soul.

    ReplyDelete
  12. sad .. i wonder are people alone or a "lone" sometime ? .. wonderfully narrated :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder so too! But its difficult to find out sometimes. Thanks Ankur :)

      Delete
  13. Such a sad story! And more often than not somebody else has to pay somebody else's fault. Well written Swathi :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ah the pain...brought back some harsh memories.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Quite sad... I can't handle that much of sad. So I shall pass only by saying it was well portrayed...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Those are lot of emotions in one post .. Take care
    and good story

    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good one, Swathi. Glad that it's fiction and not fact !!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Powerful post with well expressed emotions and what one goes though at the loss of a dear one. Heart wrenching no doubt but expressed in a way that one identifies with the person.
    http://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/wednesday-prompt-2014-18-my-thoughts-on-inspiring-maya-angelou/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Vishal :) This was a new try for me :)

      Delete
  19. Wow!!!First time on your blog and loved the first post that i read. The flow was too good.

    ReplyDelete
  20. post wid emotions :) well described n yep music helps :)

    ReplyDelete

Go on, leave a comment. I would like to hear from you :)