International Women’s Day #MakeItHappen

       Last year we were going for art classes during our semester holidays. The instructor there was a middle aged man. He had a happy-go-lucky way of speaking and it helped him to mingle with all his students effortlessly. His mannerisms attracted students and the learning environment was good. Well, that was till we found out the truth! What would have happened that would make me think otherwise, you might ask. I will tell you two scenarios.

Scenario 1:

       Once during class, sir told us about an incident that happened when he had been to bank the previous day. There was a guy who was misbehaving with a girl in the bank. He had stood behind the girl in the queue and as the queue was moving ahead, he started behaving ill. The girl was getting really uncomfortable but she didn't utter a word apart from cringing when he touched her. Our dear sir, after seeing this, informed the security person in the bank about the incident and the guy was given an earful and was thrown out.

       We were really impressed when we heard about this. We felt that there are at least some people who have the courage to stand up for others.

Scenario 2:

      Two days back, I met a friend in college who was taking the same course this year. We were chatting casually and I asked how her art classes were going on. She seemed uncomfortable by the question. I asked her if everything was alright? She cringed and said that she would never lay her foot in that building again! I was shocked by the animosity radiating from her. I asked her what the matter was. She seemed reluctant to answer. But after asking for few more times, she finally told me that she had discontinued classes as Sir behaved inappropriately. I was shocked when my other friends confessed the same too. 'If you were in an all girls batch, then you would see his real side' was all they told me.

       The person who claims that he did the right thing when he helped a girl in the bank, does the same to other students in the class! I was shocked to find out! If he can see the girl in the bank being uncomfortable, couldn't he see his own students cringing away when he tried to appear casual and touch them? I have understood one thing. People who speak a lot about right and wrong, are not always those who do the right thing. Saying the right thing has become a trend. When you say something good, you attract people. That is the best marketing strategy. Say the right thing and people will start looking up to you. But what about practice? Is it not necessary to follow all the good things they say? Are words just that - mere words to be spoken but not converted into action? Do they think that if they say good things, their dark deeds will be nullified and the world will become a good place?

       It disgusts me when I come across such people. It disgusts me when I have to converse with them in my day to day life. And it disgusts me the most when I see them talking about women's rights and the men's duty, while in reality, these very people are the ones who rob women of their freedom. These are the ones because of whom the women have to live in fear; the very chameleons who hide their true nature behind their pretty words.

       There is no need to send feel-good messages on Whatsapp and Facebook about women's day and about how precious the life of a woman is. There is no need to fake rage or pity on social medias when things go wrong. Because they are just going to be words. It may earn some likes and some appreciation. But it will not change anything in the real world. If you do want to bring the change, then take action. Respect the women around you. If something is going wrong, raise your voice in real rather than showing your support just in the virtual world. Take a pledge to change the way things are and then #MakeItHappen.

PS: Linking this to the B-A-R's International Women's Day - #MakeItHappen post.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)

The Deliberate Sinner - Book Review

Title: The Deliberate Sinner    
Author: Bhaavna Arora
Publisher: Srishti Publishers and Distributors
ISBN: 978-93-82665-20-5
Number of Pages: 148
Price: 120 [INR]
Genre: Fiction



Blurb on the book:

Is there an acid test to gauge the success of a relationship?
Is it right to carry on in an unhealthy relationship with no conjugal bliss, or look for an alternate path?

Rihana is an adventurous and free-spirited girl, until she marries Veer, an eligible bachelor who comes from a wealthy family. While they appear 'happily married', their strong personalities are at odds. Veer, for the most part, is insensitive to Rihanna's physical and emotional needs, straining the relationship and leaving her feeling incomplete.

Caught between the devil and the deep sea, Rihana has to now decide whether to walk out of her marriage and be a victim of society's ridicule, or compromise on her physical needs, which for her are the foundation for a healthy marital bond.

Can they work out their differences? Will Veer give her what she desires, or push her to do something desperate and scandalous?

My Review:

The Deliberate Sinner is a story about 21 year old Rihana who is from an affluent family. She is what every guy desires for! When proposed by Veer, a guy from an equally affluent family, Rihana finds herself in confusion. And before she can think through it, her marriage is fixed with Veer by her parents, who are happy to find a 'suitable' groom whose social status matches with theirs!

The story revolves around her marital life. While she finds herself totally unhappy with Veer, she tries everything in her control to make the marriage work and maintain the so called reputation in the society. A husband who is totally indifferent to her and her feelings, a mother who is more afraid of spoiling her image in the society than worrying about her daughter's happiness and a society which just points a finger at the woman in the end and judges her all the time; Rihana tries to live through it all. But how long can she withstand it?

The author has pictured the present chauvinist society in an effective manner. If a guy does something wrong, then the girl is expected to forgive him and move on like nothing happened. A mere sorry is expected to fix everything! But does the same hold for a girl? If a girl does the same mistake, will the male dominant society over look it? Apparently, no! The author has raised questions on many such issues predominant in our present Indian society. 

The protagonist is a daring woman, who knows clearly what she wants from life. She is ready to stand up for herself and fight for her rights. The language used in the novel is simple and effective. The story flows smoothly in the beginning but is a little bit stretched in the middle and then ends suddenly, with Rihana finding solution to all the problems! There are some cliches in the story like Raj's sudden appearance in the end, which could have been rectified. Also, what I didn't understand is Veer's behavior towards Rihana inspite of her being the epitome of beauty as described by the author.

Here are some of the quotes from the book which I loved:

You have to take the problem head on. Either you die, or you kill your enemy; there is no other way.

The day you stop experiencing pain or pleasure, that very day you would cease to exist.

And in the interlude between birth and death, it's your deeds alone that make the story of your life - either remarkably big or abysmally insignificant.

It is always the unseen which is more consequential than the seen.

The book definitely makes a good read. A perfect dosage of reality is given to the story. Despite of what the cover page suggests, the book isn't totally filled with sexuality; which is used only in relevant areas. The author has done a commendable job by writing about a woman's physical and emotional needs precisely without exaggerating much to make it look artificial. I would definitely suggest this book.

Rating: 3.5/5 starts

PS: This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books.

Until the next post,
Keep Smiling :)

Love,
Swathi :)

Mardaani!

        I was in high school at that time. It was my friend's cousin's wedding. She was excited about it, what with all the events, shopping, fun that was going on during wedding. Her excitement was contagious and soon I found myself basking in the happiness too. Little did we anticipate the real deal that was going to follow.

       Her cousin Samhitha was a doctor. Samhitha's parents belonged to a middle class family. They had suffered a lot but their ambition was that their daughter to become a doctor someday. When this dream came true and Samhitha returned home with a medical degree, their joy knew no bounds! They were on cloud nine and they went on bragging about it. Once their initial excitement waned, next was the task of getting her married. Like every parent, they wanted their daughter to get the best guy and after searching a lot, they found one. The guy was well settled and belonged to a reputed family. He was a doctor too! What more could they ask for? Without much thought, they agreed and the preparations for wedding started.

       But things didn't go as planned. As the days passed and most of the preparations were made, the groom's parents started changing colors. They started making demands. First it started with "We don't want dowry, but we wish you would gift your daughter gold ornaments on her wedding. After all it will make her happy" Once this was fulfilled, next came the demand of house and soon followed the car for the groom. Wasn't he like their son now? Samhitha's parents had no choice but to oblige; after all the invitation cards were sent and the wedding date was around the corner. It had become a matter of respect now. What would people say if the wedding broke off? So they took loans and fulfilled all the needs.

       Samhitha tried convincing her parents not to do this but they would hush her saying she doesn't understand the norms of society. "Who would marry her again if the wedding was called off now?" they shot back. She was hurt by this attitude but she kept quiet after they refused to give in. She watched it all and remained silent. She waited patiently for her chance and it did come.

       Finally it was the day of wedding and celebrations were going on. Cousins, relatives, friends and colleagues of both bride and groom started flowing in. Soon it was time for the auspicious ceremony. The groom was about to tie the knot when Samhitha stood up. She looked at him with hate filled eyes and said "Wasn't it the car and house that you loved the most? I suggest you tie the knot to them only" Saying so, she left; without even sparing a second glance to the groom who sat their shell shocked, his mouth hanging open! He was disgraced in front of everyone, including his own people for the crime he had committed.

       I don't know what happened later. But this incident is still etched in my mind clearly, for it left a deep impact on me and changed my perspective towards society. She didn't care what people would think of her nor did she worry about her future. She just knew that supporting a crime is crime in itself and she didn't want to be a part of it. So she stood up for herself and that is the identity of a true Mardaani!

PS: This post is written as a part of I am Mardaani activity exclusively at BlogAdda.com for Indian Bloggers.

Until the next post,

Keep Smiling :)

Love,

Swathi :)