The Goodbyes - College Diary #1

       I came home today with tears in my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying. My mom was shocked, given that I had been to branch fest happily and while she expected me to come back and tell her about how good it was, I had come back crying. Her mind was already working out 1000 different things that could have gone wrong. Did the magazine release go bad? (I will write about it in another post) Did you mess up while hosting? Did anyone say something to you? Her questions were endless but I couldn't speak other than shaking my head. I could see her panicking. I didn't want to worry her on Mother's Day like this. Finally, I managed to say what was bothering me. "It's all over... college... I am feeling bad" I said between sobs and broke down again. And what did she do? Burst out laughing!!

        Well, I can't blame her. Till now I was waiting for this day. Whenever I saw someone getting emotional about the end approaching soon, I would pull out a poker face not wanting to show them how happy I was with the fact. Of course I was happy! No more classes, no more going to college, no more assignments and no more reading for internals. Sounded too good for me. But today these same words which used to make me happy all these days, are making me emotional. No more classes - I would miss sitting in the last bench, passing comments, doodling and bunking class to go to canteen. No more going to college - I would miss roaming in campus, clicking random pics, enjoying with friends, fighting over petty issues and then forgetting them sooner than it happened. No more assignments - I would miss fighting over who will write it, copying it from friends and coming up with creative excuses when we failed to complete it. No more reading for internals - no more worrying over average, no more dividing the portions between friends and no more mugging up minutes before internals. 

       I still can't believe its been four years already! It still feels like yesterday that I joined engineering, not because I wanted to but because I was forced to. I was hoping these 4 years would end soon and it did! Then why am I feeling so bad now when this is what I wanted all along?

       Every word holds a different meaning today. When I look back, I can only see moments that make me smile because they were so good and cry because they are coming to an end. Oh, how I wish I can stop time right at this moment and thus stop the goodbyes that will follow in few days. But wish as I might, I know life has to go on. So while there is still few days left, I want to make the most of it and collect as many memories I can to cherish them for the rest of my life. 

         Starting from today, for the rest of the month, I am going to share stories of my college life. It is my way of coping up with the overflowing emotions and cherishing the memories forever. This 'College Diary' series is dedicated to all my friends and lecturers (Yes!) who made these 4 years a memorable one :)

Until the next post,
Keep Smiling :)

Swathi :)

Labels: , , , , ,